The Fairly OddPirates!
by Noone the Virgin
Summary: You know how the song goes, now imagine it with a One Piece flair.
1. Chapter 1

Once upon a time, there was a young boy who had no friends. He was all alone and laughed at by everyone and everything. One day, he made a wish before going to bed. He wanted a friend. Anyone would do.

So during his slumber, a star fell from the sky. It landed in his room, quietly.

The next morning, the young boy awoke to find a man with green hair and battle scars all over his chest and a woman with pink hair and striped tights on his bed.

"Who are you two?!" He asked.

"I'm Zoro!"

"And I'm Perona!"

"And we're…your fairy godparents!" There was a pause.

"Where are your wings?" He asked. "Well, I don't have wings, but I can fly!" Perona flew across the room. The boy saw her body lying lifeless. It fell off the bed, headfirst. She yelled. "Why didn't you grab me!?" She yelled at Zoro.

"You didn't ask." He got up. "Where's your bathroom? I gotta take a leak." He went inside the closet. "Um, it's the door over there." Zoro got out the closet and went into the other closet.

"No, not there!"

The boy led him outside. Go down there and take a left. Zoro went down the hall and took a right. He opened the door and a scream was heard.

"Who are you!?"

"Whoops."

The boy slapped his head. "I wish he didn't do that." Perona's ears twitched. "Ooh, I can do that!" She pulled out a wand and gave a particular laugh. In a cloud of smoke, Zoro returned to the room. "This time, go to your right." Zoro went down the hall, and took a left. As he went in the bathroom, the boy's father saw him before he closed the door.

"Son, did you know there's a man with green hair in our bathroom?" He said.

"Yeah, he's a friend."

"Alright then!" He closed the door. Perona popped her head out from under the bed. "That's bad," She said. "We can't let anyone know who we are! If we do, you'll never see us again!"

"Why?"

"Fairies are supposed to be kept secret from adults! Only kids can know about us!" She changed her form. She was now tiny and with a pink tuft on her rear. "We disguised ourselves as adults and broke into your home!"

"Wait, that's breaking and entering! You committed a crime!"

"Well, it beats having to go away forever!" Zoro came out the bathroom and went downstairs. "I wonder if they got any booze." The young boy's father was downstairs. "Hey, you're Timothy's friend, right?" The two upstairs heard him and panicked.

"Yeah, I'm a f-" He stopped. "I'm a pirate. Roronoa Zoro!" Timothy's father looked surprised. "When I was a young boy, I played pirate, too! I was the saltiest sea dog in all the land!" He did a bad pirate impression. "Hey, you got any booze in here?"

"No, I stopped that when Tim was born." Dad answered. "But if you want, we can stop on by the bar after work and get to know one another better!" Zoro looked at him. "I think you're the only person who decided to be my son's friend." He made a face. "Though why an adult wants to be friends with a kid like him is strange…" Timothy came downstairs hastily. "Hi Dad! Bye Dad!" He took Zoro upstairs.

"That was close." Perona pulled his earrings. "You dummy! You almost gave us away!"

"What?! I didn't transform or anything!" He made a Shinto hand sign and transformed into a smaller being with a green tuft on his rear."

"Cool! You're a ninja fairy?!"

"No, just a fairy." He said. "This is my…well…she's my…" Perona scowled. "I'm your partner! Your one and only!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are! You said you'd marry me if I took you to the sword shop and I did!" Zoro sighed. "It was hard to find it, what else could I do?" She hit him on the head. "You could try not being stupid, marimo!"

"Marimo?! You…corpse!" His poor insult cut her like a knife. "You don't love me!"

"I never did." He replied ominously. She started wailing. Timothy picked her up. "That's not nice, Zoro! She's really hurt!" He scoffed. "I wish you were nicer!" Perona's tuft perked up.

"Wait a minu-" A poof covered Zoro. He was much nicer, and looked sunny. "I'm sorry, Perona! You're the only one for me!" He took her hand and looked at her passionately. "Zoro!" She hugged him tightly. Timothy looked at the clock. "Oh, no! I'm late for school!" He got ready in a rush, running out of the house in two minutes. He didn't have his shoes on.

"I forgot my-" He paused. "I wish I had shoes!" His shoes magically appeared. Zoro and Perona appeared. "Since we're your godparents, we'll follow you wherever you go!" Perona said. Timothy looked excited. "But you have to keep your word that you'll keep us a secret!" Timothy nodded. He went through his usual day of torment and terror. But none of that mattered, due to his new fairy godparents.

When he got home, he ran to his room. "Thanks, Zoro! You didn't have to do that to that bully, though." He said. "That guy was practically an adult," He said. "I had to teach him a lesson!" Perona scolded him. "And you could have done that with your words, not your swords!" The cops almost came to the school!" Timothy laughed. "That was great! Franky almost wet his pants!"

"Oh Timothy!" It was Mom. "We're going out for the weekend, Vivvi will be coming by shortly!"

"Oh no, not Vivvi!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Vivvi?"

"Yeah, she's my babysitter! And she's mean!" Timothy looked disturbed. "She's horrible, every time she babysits me, I have to go to bed early!" Perona sat on the boy's shoulder. "Don't worry, sport! We'll see what we can do! Just say I wish and watch the fun happen!" Timothy started to think up various things to do to Vivvi.

"Oi, you forgot to tell him the one rule." Zoro said abruptly. "Oh, yeah! There's rules to wish making!" Perona flew around him, taking out a giant book aptly named "Da Rules".

"The rules are as follows: You can't wish to kill someone, wish for love, money or becoming the pirate king!"

"The pirate what?"

"Forget that last part. As long as you don't wish death on her, we can help you out, sport!" Timothy looked relieved and began thinking of ways to get back at her.

Five minutes later, a large thud was heard.

"TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEERP!" It was the babysitter, Vivvi. She had a dangerous face and long, blue hair. Timothy came downstairs. "There you are! Know what time it is?"

"My revenge," He muttered.

"What was that?!"

"Nothing." Vivvi snickered. "Because it's Friday, I'm feeling generous today. She sat on the couch and took off her white boots. "If you rub my feet, and do everything I say, I'll let you stay up until…8PM." Timothy sighed. In his ear, were Zoro and Perona as ticks. "Does she always make you do this?" Zoro asked. "Yep. Every time. If she doesn't send me to bed early."

"Just say the word, kid." Zoro held his wand in his mouth. Timothy whispered something. As he started rubbing Vivvi's feet, she started chuckling. "Hey, be care-ful w-with those!" She started laughing. Timothy wished for her feet to be overly sensitive to touch. He rubbed them like normal. "S-Stop rubbing my fe-ffeet!" She started cackling. "You want me to stop? Okay." Timothy stopped. He smirked the whole time. After Vivvi caught her breath, she looked devious again.

"I don't know what you were trying, brat. But do my shoulders next!" Timothy went for her shoulders. He muttered something. Perona started laughing.

"What was that?!"

"A rat, maybe?" Vivvi slammed her foot on the coffee table. "KEEP IT DOWN!" As Timothy began to rub the mean babysitter's shoulders, his hands were coated in magic. As soon as he touched her, she jumped up. With one squeeze, she was more relaxed than ever before. Timothy went deep in her muscles, massaging her. She was slouching downward, until she lost it completely.

"Wow, that worked better than I thought!" Vivvi was overly relaxed. "Vivvi, can I eat my weight in ice cream?" He asked.

"Sure thing, just let me rest for a bit…" Timothy went in the kitchen and started stuffing his face with ice cream. "That really worked!" He said. "But what can we do to make her pay for all she's done…?" Zoro got an idea.

When Vivvi woke up, she looked around for Timothy. She slammed every door until she found him, in his room. "You! What did you do to me?!"

"I rubbed your shoulders, like you asked me to." He replied. "Well, I'm not done with you, yet!" She pulled out a bucket. "Scrub the floor, NOW!"

Timothy was scrubbing the floor. In the bucket, was Zoro. "Ready, squirt?" Timothy nodded. He screamed loudly. Vivvi marched in, angry. "What's the deal, twerp!?"

"There's a monster in the bucket!" Vivvi went to look in it and saw a large, green tentacle creeping out of it. It grabbed her. She screamed. Zoro turned into a kraken. "What is this thing?! How'd it get in the house?!" Timothy merely shrugged. Zoro was rubbing his tentacles all over her face and body. She was shivering with disgust. Zoro took off her shorts.

"Zoro, don't go too far!" Perona said, in the bucket as a goldfish. "Whoops." He dropped her. She ran out the room in fear. "Nice job, Zoro!"

Vivvi was in the bathroom, catching her breath. "What the hell was that?!" She thought. "How'd a large octopus get in the house?!" A knock was heard on the door. "Go away!" The door opened. Vivvi looked and saw a giant pink snake. It was Perona. She wrapped herself around her and started laughing, with a hissing sound added in. "I hate snakes!"

"But I love you!" Perona said, binding her. "Stop! You'll kill me!"

"But it'll be with love!" Vivvi's mouth hung loose, losing consciousness. "Well, that was weak."

When Vivvi woke up, she found herself in a dark room. She was chained to a wall. Near her, was Timothy in a cloak. "Where am I?" She looked frantically. "Who are you?!" Timothy walked to her face. "Your worst nightmare. You've made my life a living hell for five years! Now it's time for you to get a taste of your own medicine!" Perona, in her human form rolled in something in a cover. She lifted it up, revealing a roast bird. "You remember when you always made me feed your stupid duck?"

"Carue!" Timothy tore off one of its legs. "Eat up, Vivvi. You'll need your strength." Vivvi started tearing up. "Carue was the only thing I liked in this horrid world…" She moved her mouth away. "Eat it!"

"No!"

"Zoro!" Zoro came out with all three swords unsheathed. He emitted an ominous aura. Vivvi pissed her pants.

"Oh, great! Now you have to clean that up!"

"I have to clean it?!" Zoro held his swords at her throat. "Now eat up!" Vivvi was forced to feast on her pet. She didn't want to admit to it, but he was delicious. After she ate him, she started to clean up her filth.

"Next, you'll need to work off that duck." Timothy said. "I know, 400 laps around the field…"

"…While a slobbering monster chases you!" A large slobbering monster chased her around a football field. She fell down more times than Vivi from One Piece. Due to that fact, she was eaten.

…

Timothy had no regrets. Zoro and Perona, however were worried. "Did we just break the rules?" Perona asked. "Well, the monster ate her, not us." Zoro replied. There was a tense silence. "Well, let's go back home –" A large crash was heard. A very large fairy appeared. It was Dracule Von Mihawkken.

"You two! You have broken the rules and as such, you lose your powers and your human." He pulled out the large blade on his back and slashed the two. They were banished away forever. Timothy yelled in protest.

And that was the end of that story.

Now go to sleep.


End file.
